Damascus Moments — by GAIL LOWE

 

In the Book of Acts, as written in the Bible's New Testament, while on the road to Damascus, St. Paul, formerly known as Saul, experienced what he later believed to be a divine encounter with the resurrected Jesus of Nazareth. While riding his horse along the road, a bright light sprung up before him and he was instantly blinded. And then a disembodied voice said, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" Up to that moment, Saul had been on his way to Damascus to continue his pursuit of Christians. His goal was to murder them, one by one, because the rise of Christianity following Jesus' resurrection threatened what the Jewish nation held dear—their beliefs and traditions. They did not believe that Jesus could have been their Messiah because He did not fit the criteria. After he was blinded, Jesus instructed Saul to go to a nearby town where a man would restore his sight. Saul wisely followed Jesus' command and his sight was restored. But life was never the same. The former murderer of innocent people came to believe that Jesus was the Messiah, and he traveled all over the Middle East to spread the Good News. Because of his steadfast dedication to his new mission, he threw off his old name and became Paul—St. Paul.

The publication of Damascus Moments is long overdue. Launching this blog has taken 23 years because of the deep emotional pain an estrangement with my only child—a daughter—caused when she rejected me and our extended family. She and I were apart for 17 years, but I never gave up hope, especially after what I still believe was a direct encounter with the living God, a man I know as Jesus. I fully believe that in my hour of need, He spoke to me through His word—the Holy Bible—in the tiny Old Testament Book of Haggai (my story is below). After that life-changing encounter, life has never been the same. What happened on September 24, 1998 was a miracle, and when I acknowledged that it could only have come from God, other miracles happened, one after the other. If you are suffering through extremely painful emotional circumstances, take heart. You are not alone. Open your heart to the truth of who God is, go to your knees in prayer and watch what He does. You, too, will experience miracle after miracle and discover the peace that passes all understanding.

Here is my story. It begins with the second chapter of the Book of Haggai . . .

The LORD says, “Consider how things were before one stone was laid on another in the Lord’s temple. When anyone came to a heap of twenty measures, there were only ten. When anyone went to a wine vat to draw fifty measures, there were only twenty. I struck all the work of your hands with blight, mildew and hail, yet you did not turn to me,” declares the Lord. “From this day on, from this twenty-fourth day of the ninth month, give careful thought to the day when the foundation of the Lord’s temple was laid. Give careful thought: Is there any seed left in the barn? Until now, the vine and the fig tree, the pomegranate and the olive tree have not borne fruit . . .  from this day on I will bless you. I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you,” declares the Lord Almighty. (New International Version)

These are the words I read on the night of September 24, 1998 after listening to a recorded phone message my only child—my beloved daughter—left for me while I was at work.

She had graduated from college in May that year. On Saturday, May 16. I was there to watch her walk across the stage at her college in Boston to receive her bachelor’s degree in political science. Following the commencement exercises, I treated my daughter and her boyfriend to brunch at a nearby restaurant. There was much to celebrate that day as we chatted about her academic success. Later, we walked to the station where I would catch the train home. After saying goodbye and promising to see each other again soon, I watched my daughter walk away with her boyfriend and into a throng of people. Little did I know then that I would not see her again for 17 long years.

Over the next four months, I called her and sent notes to ask if I could take her to dinner, just the two of us, but received no response. Her silence told me something was terribly wrong. I just didn’t know what was causing her to be so distant. By the third week in September I was so distraught that my own mother told me to knock on her door and demand to know why she was ignoring me. But being pushy is not my nature so I simply called her at her office and told her I would be in Boston the following day. “I’d like to take you to lunch,” I said. Her reply floored me. “No, Mom. I can’t go to lunch. Please don’t come to Boston.” 

Why? Why?

I hung up the phone, certain I had somehow offended her and maybe even her boyfriend. And then, that night, I came home to her phone message: “Hi Mom. It’s me," she said.  "We have decided to take a break from family, and I’m requesting that you don’t contact me again. When I’m ready, I’ll contact you.”

A break from family? What was going on? Devastated and hurt, I cried out from the deepest part of me. “I don’t know what to do, God,” I sobbed. “Please help me.” I then went to my knees and prayed because there was nowhere else to go. When I stood up, I turned and there, on top of my bureau, was my Bible. I picked up the book and opened it to a random page. And then I read from the Book of Haggai, Chapter Two:

Today is the 24th day of the ninth month, the day that the foundation of the Temple has been completed.

When I read the date, I looked all around me in that empty room, somehow expecting to see an apparition of Jesus. I didn’t see His face, but I certainly felt His presence. And when I re-read what was written in Haggai Chapter Two, I knew that I had experienced a Damascus Moment just as Paul had centuries ago. Many more of those moments would soon follow.

He had chosen me. But why? And for what?